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Monday, June 30, 2008
@ 11:33 PM

results came out and i failed physics -_- got 41/100.. lol.. gg liao lor.. gg to have remedials lik mad and see more of eunice toh face which i had enuff since the start of sch term. kns... im the lowest in class for physics la.. kenneth got 77 i think, which makes him the second top in class.. the top who scored 80 out of 100 is daryl.. lol..

life's getting worse.. and i need to make a decision by next week.. dont think i can already since im going to be so freaking busy with my lousy sch work plus tjcsb.. i really need to buck up in both aspects.. haven been touching my sax for quite a while and i think im getting rusty.. fiesta 08 is coming up, which means another concert which will only be played by the J1 and secondary sch players. need to start stepping up as a section leader and gear up my members :) i must learn how to manage my time well from now on. Stop coming online so often, and chit chat on the phone for so long. actually didnt talk much on the phone nowadays for the past one month.. have la, talk to random ppl lik pb nard yughan gene hs and some others la.. i will start blabbering rubbish to them.. much of a heart-to-heart talk.. looking back at how i spent my whole june hols.. lol.. last two weeks then i started touching on my books, merely flipping and browsing through only! -_- i started physics two days before taking the exam and tats the kind of marks i got for chionging last minute.. this proves that i cannot be studying at last minute.. i realised i really need constant revision which i dont have the habit of doing at all. from Jan till April, i was all busy with my sec sch band. rushing down to tk straight after sch lik mad and ended up reaching home close to 9pm. all the saturdays were spent at tk too, which left me with sunday when i just sleep for the whole afternoon before touching some work at night. oh well, im not lamenting now ok? i still think its worth it because im doing something that i enjoy.. but it came to a point that things are getting out of control and im not someone whos capable of multi-tasking so many things simultaneously. i really cant. i didnt do well for my sec 4 prelims, getting a score of 13 for L1R5.. the impact was really great... really... i have to look at my friends all getting gd scores and gg to gd JCs. im not trying to convey the msg that mjc isnt a gd sch, but i just dont feel right in the family.. the friends i knew there are really great ppl! (: but its just the feeling.. i dunno why =/ TJC was my ideal sch.. its not just because i got inspired by tjcsb, but its just sth else.. probably because of someone in the past who used to be in that sch.. and i told myself to get in there too when i was coming to sec three.. come to think of it, that was just a very immature thought..

but looking at the present status, ive not regretted coming to Tjc.. neither did i regret entering a JC too.. studies might suck and the stress level is extremely high(having to fight with intelligent ppl from the east area and overseas scholars).. its inevitable.. there are things that i need to forgo in order to spend my time well.. its just one and a half years more.. 1.5 years... its seems to be short but can be quite long too.. "度日如年" tats wad ppl always say... i have a great bunch of friends and im glad.. anyway, im nt feeling any sadness over my sucky physics results because i think its sth that i deserve. i dun wish to repeat history itself, having D7 for physics prelims and got A2 in the end for Os... its stupid.. i dun wanna go thru that kind of torture.. the basic foundation of physics is so not there.. and getting A2 for Os is because i really work fking hard for physics..

was so childish last time back in sec four.. gpg announced to the class that we only two failures for physics prelims.. i kinda expected its me.. so i went up to her during free time and asked whether is it me.. she said "u got study or not?" i was lik fk.. i study quite hard for physics prelims only and yet i got a shit score.. i worked hard cuz ive been getting a b4 or below since the start of sec three physics.. knsssss... hardwork does not equate to results.. so when it was time to give out the papers, i purposely pon tang tat 2periods of physics and went to some ulu corner in tk where no tchers will walk arnd.. Not everyone finds such comfort in solitude.. but i do... did some reflections and have been thinking wad the heck was i doing for the whole of sept hols... gpg was kind and she already knew i pon tang her lesson.. next day she came looking for me and had a heart-to-heart talk.. lol.. quite funny though.. cuz we were conversing in chinese, english and singlish -_- but oh well, at least i didnt disappoint her in e end..

hmmm... yes i did study abit during june hols.. but i tell u.. 80% of the time i was drifting lik mad.. esp during the second and third week of june hols.. i can read one page of notes using one hour.. and just stare blindly at it and nth goes into my brain.. dam it... i was really thinking about alot of stuff.. be it band stuff, friendship stuff, parents, family and blah blah blah.. i tend to think alot in these issues.. really alot.. i broke down once during sec four.. quite serious.. ran out halfway through geog lessons and was crying lik mad.. LOLOLOL... went to pccg room and talked to karen.. but i chose not to say every single thing to her and she knows.. no wonder shes a sch councillor =/ and ya, two of my great buddys picked me up there.. and if i can rmb, my friends cried for me siol.. lol... i think sofy and mich were crying too..erm not to forget, i think that black one also cried lik mad dunno for wad reason in the pccg room... awww.. emotional times... u get to see and know who are your true friends only when crisis struck.. hmmm... so ya...

zhikai just talked to me on msn and told me that its alright -_- dam lame can? oh well, he didnt score quite well for As.. and tat dude claims that i take after him exactly like how he behaves in tj.. aiya, as wad mich said, must turn over a new leaf liao.. cannot sit at the back and sleep for every econs lecture already.. its time to buck up and move on with life.. lik wad zk said " 化悲伤为力量 for promos" and everything will just sail on smoothly... i hope so... and anyway.. happy sweet sixteen to someone in half an hours time...

=)


my THOUGHTS are sealed
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