i told myself to be strong no matter what happens. im old enough to handle all these, even if im all alone by myself.
the purpose of posting the previous entry is not to gain any sympathy from anyone, neither am i proud to tell everyone abt my own family probs. its just that it comes to a point that there isnt anything to be ashamed of. i didnt tell any single soul about it in the past, purely because i think that im dam ashamed of this kind of family. everyone jus trying to put on a brave front. and honestly speaking, my mum doesnt want anyone to know about it just because shes afraid that we will lose face. probably tats e reason why i didnt bother to confide in bernard anything abt this since his mum and my mum are colleagues... thats the main reason...
this morning was so bad.. i looked into the mirror while brushing my teeth.. my eyes were red and swollen.. probably due to lack of sleep and too much of crying... slept at arnd 4 plus in the morning.. im shocked by wads happening today.. everything suddenly became so quiet.. should i say that i enjoy this tranquilness or i rather it to be as noisy as ever? know what? i dont know the answer cuz basically i dont give a damn about anything now.. my only wish now is that i can finish my education asap and get employed by a big company, earn big bucks, and live outside by myself in an executive apartment. thats the kind of life i yearn for..... but who knows again? everyone might just die EVEN BEFORE the arrival of 21dec2012...
dun worry my friends.. im so dam alright now.. no use crying over some bastard.. no use worrying abt all these when ive got so many other stuff worth my concern.. and honestly, im kinda amused by someone telling me go find a councillor to talk abt it. funny isnt it? well, at least i think so... i rather talk to friends.. friends who i can confide in... but this time round, i chose the alternate route, that is to blog about it and tell the whole world how sucky my family can be... frankly speaking, i dont admire other families who are happy living with each other.. cuz i know that given my kind of character, i just wanna survive alone, hmmm, probably with someone i truely love... oh well, but finding that MR Right is going to take some time as i can be quite particular about someone's character.. lol, im not trying to say that ive got a gd character, but i mean lik its normal for girls to look at that first before considering how the person looks lik... =)
sorry for all my rantings which can be quite unpleasant... i know this is my blog and ive got rights to blog abt anything.. but somehow, i dun wish to pollute the minds of my readers.. a big thx to all my friends out there. im really fine now... i must be strong.. its hard.. but i will continue this journey no matter how hard it is...
btw, happy sweet 17th birthday to miss YAP HWEE SAN!! :DDD
i told myself to be strong no matter what happens. im old enough to handle all these, even if im all alone by myself.
the purpose of posting the previous entry is not to gain any sympathy from anyone, neither am i proud to tell everyone abt my own family probs. its just that it comes to a point that there isnt anything to be ashamed of. i didnt tell any single soul about it in the past, purely because i think that im dam ashamed of this kind of family. everyone jus trying to put on a brave front. and honestly speaking, my mum doesnt want anyone to know about it just because shes afraid that we will lose face. probably tats e reason why i didnt bother to confide in bernard anything abt this since his mum and my mum are colleagues... thats the main reason...
this morning was so bad.. i looked into the mirror while brushing my teeth.. my eyes were red and swollen.. probably due to lack of sleep and too much of crying... slept at arnd 4 plus in the morning.. im shocked by wads happening today.. everything suddenly became so quiet.. should i say that i enjoy this tranquilness or i rather it to be as noisy as ever? know what? i dont know the answer cuz basically i dont give a damn about anything now.. my only wish now is that i can finish my education asap and get employed by a big company, earn big bucks, and live outside by myself in an executive apartment. thats the kind of life i yearn for..... but who knows again? everyone might just die EVEN BEFORE the arrival of 21dec2012...
dun worry my friends.. im so dam alright now.. no use crying over some bastard.. no use worrying abt all these when ive got so many other stuff worth my concern.. and honestly, im kinda amused by someone telling me go find a councillor to talk abt it. funny isnt it? well, at least i think so... i rather talk to friends.. friends who i can confide in... but this time round, i chose the alternate route, that is to blog about it and tell the whole world how sucky my family can be... frankly speaking, i dont admire other families who are happy living with each other.. cuz i know that given my kind of character, i just wanna survive alone, hmmm, probably with someone i truely love... oh well, but finding that MR Right is going to take some time as i can be quite particular about someone's character.. lol, im not trying to say that ive got a gd character, but i mean lik its normal for girls to look at that first before considering how the person looks lik... =)
sorry for all my rantings which can be quite unpleasant... i know this is my blog and ive got rights to blog abt anything.. but somehow, i dun wish to pollute the minds of my readers.. a big thx to all my friends out there. im really fine now... i must be strong.. its hard.. but i will continue this journey no matter how hard it is...
btw, happy sweet 17th birthday to miss YAP HWEE SAN!! :DDD
